Coach's Coverage Grand Finals: Joey Lemons

 

 

COACH'S COVERAGE GRAND FINALS: JOEY LEMONS

 disclaimer: the opinions expressed by the 1 interviewed are by the 1 interviewed. the coach may have completely different views dont cancel me

 

 

Joey Lemons: hello, I'm Joey Lemons, the demo for 3600 and its variants for the past few seasons

COACH: What were the variants?

JL: well in season 8 I joined team freezer, and the core of that team stayed together for season 9 and were named Don't Press Tab (named after page..) and now we're team 3600. for some reason wish always wants to change the name every season

C: It's a good thing that he did. I was in the midst of filing a trademark for the term "Don't press tab & it's more popular variant "ok no one look at the logs". But anyway, how are you doing today?

JL: I'm doing alright. enjoying my weekend off work for thanksgiving

C: Okay okay. How has your season been?

JL: It's been pretty solid so far. We were definitely planning on making grand finals going into this season, though expecting it to not be a breeze with having to go against team shovel, and squirtyay looking solid in preseason. mad getting banned midseason also made things interesting.. So I'm glad that we made it to grand finals and now we're just preparing to go against HOOD on monday

C: Damn. Why did he get banned?

JL: we were scrimming HOOD and they were doing their classic chimp spy strats, so mad typed in chat "this [racial expletive] hunter really huntin my dick" so unfortunately he caught a 2 week ban.

 

pictured: coach & his team of lawyers visiting Wish

 

C: Damn. What are your thoughts on that?

JL: i mean mad shouldn't have said it cause those are the rules, regardless of what you think of them. we thought it was kind of dumb that someone in the server reported him since I know none of the players in the server would have been offended by it. whats done is done though its whatever, it didnt end up mattering we were able to still perform well in those weeks using ringers (thanks bffl and durr)

C: Hmm okay. Personally, I think it's interesting that RGL has chosen to take a stance like that when you also have black streamers/competitive players like Fortnite player Daequan & others saying the N word (im pretty sure he does, but forgive me if im wrong) with sponsors that are much more serious in comparison to RGL. Not saying that they should change that rule, from their perspective this is a weird position to be in, so I understand. And I also really don't care about what they do at all lol.

Anyway, moving on from this kinda uncomfortable topic, How were lower bracket finals? You won, but what went down according to you?

JL: Yep we ended up winning. ggs to them by the way, our matches with them are always fun. their mistake which I'm sure they realized with hindsight was letting it go to double koth. it ended up being product swift ashville, since they banned upward. I get that we beat them on upward in the last match, but overall our koth is still a lot better than our stopwatch at the moment which is something we're trying to focus on fixing both for grand finals and for next season. I heard that part of the reason they decided to let it go to ash was because they were doing well against hood in scrims on it, but it ended up not panning out for them. 

on product nyxi and agb pretty much shut down their whole team, on swiftwater we sorta shit the bed. we werent ever able to set up a solid defense, and our offense first half was terrible, though we got a decent offense in second half. and on ashville I think mad stepped up hard to close out the match

C: Interesting. What did mad ring me do?

JL: he was winning flank fights and also able to collapse onto their combo at important moments, he had some fat bombs. him and agb were keeping marty on a respawn timer it felt like in some of the rounds

C: Say word. You think things would have been different had they had Alto step in?

JL: you can never say for certain, but we know full well alto is a force to be reckoned with. if they had let that alto play, our season could very well be over right now.

C: Real shit. That's something that we won't ever know, moving on. How are you and your team feeling currently?

JL: we're all happy with our lower bracket finals win, and even though our last match vs hood wasn't particularly close I know we're capable enough to make it competitive and without a doubt I think an upset is possible. we have to focus up and coordinate. on the 2nd half of swift vs shovel I think something clicked for me personally and I hope it can pan out in our match

C: Okay okay. Can you go into more detail on what clicked for you?

JL: I'd rather not go into it too much because it veers into our strats

 

pictured: dimento before a hood naruto push

 

C: Hmmm.. Okay okay. But sayin you're about to slap up that goofball Dimento?

JL: of course. I want to be the best maincaller in HL and i gotta slap him up to do that

C: 😱😱😱

C: What are the maps? Have you guys decided?

JL: first two maps are product and ashville right now, third map is TBD but should be decided later today

C: Okay okay. So who's nice in your division you think?

JL: jay's the obvious answer, hes just built different from every other soldier. I think blank has the best mechanics out of any scout in the div. jayeezy has had a big glowup this season i think, at some point he just started destroying everyone. aaron did better on demo than I think most people expected this season. and last I think carcin is able to have so much more impact on certain maps than any other heavy, like product, lakeside, and upward

C: Okay okay, good to know. Now... who's dookie?

JL: im gonna preface with no one in invite is bad, everyone maining in invite is a good player. a couple that surprised me was most people talked up zuchima as a heavy and maincalling GOAT but at least in our last couple matches I think he underperformed to his reputation. not necessarily a jab at him, it could have been calls clashing or an off day or something. my other one is jebus needs to play his life more, even though he gets kills his deaths impact his team more than i think he expects. same thing to manbug before his team died. again no bm to these individuals im just answering with what ive noticed

C: Say word. Speaking of rating players, so you play demoman right? Name your top 5 hl demos.

JL: currently playing?

C: I'd say all time.

JL: 

1. bowl 

2. jarrett 

3. odb 

4. logan 

5. exile 

JL: to be honest I haven't played HL seriously for long enough to know most of the goats I think, but rgl era is probably this

C: Ya eh... So why am I not on that list?

JL: to be honest i have only seen u play in tf2center

C: Ya it's fun. Sometimes I plug in the controller & run it down, keep things interesting. Moving on, so you're 400 pounds. Is that correct?

JL: yes. everyone on team 3600 is 400 pounds

C: So do you have to make weight before every match or does Ronnie J lowe you to play regardless?

pictured: joey lemons

 

JL: i think he just knows, we're all always 400 pounds. its implicit

C: Damn that's your walking around weight. Okay okay, so tell me your diet. What do you eat in an average day?

JL: a few big mac meals with large fries, and some donuts will usually do it. i like those popeyes spicy chicken sandwiches too those go hard i usually grab them

C: Is that just for breakfast?

JL: if its match day then yes

C: Say word. What about lunch and dinner? You have any snacks in between? ... Any second lunches/dinners?

JL: usually similar for lunch and dinner, keeping snacks nearby help too. always on the grind to keep up my physique. every good tf2 player is either obese or a twig so we went for the easier one to get to

C: Ah ah ah. Do you guys do team meals while you discuss strats & map review?

JL: yes our map reviews and demo reviews are usually while eating

C: Say word. What do you usually eat for dessert?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JL: these things a lot. you had them? beignets. they go hard

C: Naw. I'm not gonna lie, my weakness is ice cream. Speaking of ice cream, I understand some of you have PRs when it comes to eating. Who holds the best PR for most ice cream eaten in one sitting?

JL: it would have to be wish. in terms of the lifestyle that comes with our physique, wish has us all beat in pretty much every aspect. you could call him a coach for the rest of us when it comes to that

C: Say word, now I'd like to ask you about this statement: "Get the Dub by Any Means Necessary." Do you agree with this?

JL: not always. the dub is just a title at the end of the day. what im looking for is knowing my team and I are better, so if we win doing something underhanded, for example denying ringers, then I cant exactly say im the best. Im after the self improvement and proving myself

C: Hmm.. Respectable answer. Now in my previous Coach's Coverages, I had your teammates agb & Ronnie J here. Do you agree with the things they said in their interviews?

JL: mostly yeah. i thought agb's was funny where he gave very short responses until you asked who he thought was overrated. i didnt agree with all of those but I know agb is biased against people he doesnt like

C: Hmm okay. Are you interested in reading the shit list he will be releasing after the season ends?

JL: yes. agb beef is funny usually. i hope the people he beefs with dont take it too seriously though

C: Okay okay. What are the origins of the name "Joey Lemons" ?

JL: its actually a pun based on my IRL name. rather not give it out rn but there are a few in the community that know the origin

C: Hmm all right. What do you like to do outside of TF2? Any hobbies? Interests?

JL: well I like anime and that sort of thing. also into music and singing. I used to be really into martial arts too but I moved cities away from my old dojo so I ended up quitting that unfortunately

C: Like Kung Fu?

JL: it was a less popular one called kyuki-do, its a mix of tae kwon do, judo, and hapkido

C: That's pretty cool. You like to sing Joey Lemons?

JL: yeah its fun. I used to play instruments but I gravitated towards vocals because its so much easier to convey emotion

C: Yo.. Sayin you're tryna reach the studio? Maybe we can cook something up... 😈😈😈

JL: you never know..

C: 😭😭

C: So like.. I got some pictures here and I'd like to know your thoughts.

JL: sure thing

 

 

 

JL: i know a lot about them from wish expressing his past trauma

C: Would you be willing to share his past trauma with Fast Forward?

 

pictured: arcane river minecraft sleepover!!!! :3

 

JL: every time he would mess up deldongo would start flaming his ass, and something with rain that i dont know the details to

C: Well.. not trying to defend either of them but all I can say is that it's Mr. Deldongo & that Rain wears black af1s and drinks from the Arcane river.

JL: idk about that restaurant but if she was leading me there i cant really say no

C: Say word. 😳😳

JL: LOL guilty gear is sick. some of the strive mods are hilarious. havent seen this one

JL: this will be our feast after winning grand finals

C: Ah ah ah.

 

 

 

 

 

 

JL: something something the usual spiel about eating my cock

C: 😳😳😳

C: Hold up. I don't quite understand what you mean by that.

JL: dzcreeper reported aeon in pugs because aeon was "giving the usual spiel about eating his cock" dont remember the exact wording. was funny though

C: Ah okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JL: lookin fresh

C: Man like Drizzy. Okay so, usually after the pictures I'd end this interview, but a man like Bowl of Mayo is feeling so gassed right now that he would slap you guys. This man said if you guys catch a Double Dub and beat him, he will defund Coach's Corner & use the money to purchase all 9 of you guys personal scooters as seen in this photo.

C: So.. like, I'm tryna have a good budget for Season 2. Can you guys lose please?

JL: LOL i respect mr. mayo's extreme generosity

C: Wow. I see how it is. Don't think I won't forget this. Moving on, is there anything you'd like to say before we conclude this interview?

JL: gl on monday hood. i love my teammates

C: And with that, good luck to the 18 in grand finals!